Deciding with which parent the children should live can be the most difficult issue for everyone to deal with - mother, father and children. In the best of circumstances, both parents agree on what arrangement is best for their children. In the worst of circumstances, the parents do not agree and it is left to a judge to decide where the children should live. If there is not yet a court order in place awarding custody to one parent or the other, under the law the judge must decide what custody arrangement would serve the best interests of the children. If there is an existing court order that one of the parents is asking the court to change, under the law the judge must decide if there is a substantial change in circumstances since the entry of the last order which, in the judge's opinion, would justify a change in the custody arrangement.

The judge can grant sole custody to one parent, with specific or general visitation rights to the other, or the judge can grant joint custody to both parents. However, joint custody does not necessarily mean that the children will live half the time with one parent and the half the time with the other, especially if the children are of school age. Joint custody usually means that the parents share decision-making responsibilities and work together to decide what is best for the children. Of course, judges expect parents with sole custody/visitation arrangements to do the same. Because each family's circumstances are unique, it is best to consult with an attorney for advice about your special situation.

Visitation for the non-custodial parent, whether agreed upon by the parties or ordered by the court, may be general or specific. An example of general visitation language is "visitation as the parties may agree." This is typically used only when the parents get along and are likely to agree on a visitation schedule. Specific visitation can range from the "typical" every other weekend schedule to a more detailed schedule tailored to a family's special circumstances. If it is difficult for the parents to work together, it is important to set a visitation schedule that is specific enough to reduce conflict as much as possible. The family law attorneys at Collins & Maready have experience in dealing with many visitation schedules and can advise you on what arrangements tend to work in specific situations, especially when military assignments move families across the country. Please use the form below to contact us to setup your free, initial consultation.

Some counties in North Carolina, Onslow County among them, have mandatory custody mediation programs. This means that before a custody case can be tried before a judge, the parties must participate in a program that helps parents agree on a custody and visitation arrangement without court involvement.